Back Again

So, as previously mentioned, efx2blogs has again relocated and, with posts restored and subscriptions up and running, the time has come to return to my spiritual blog home: http://bebbet.efx2blogs.com

I'll leave this place up and running as a backup (you never know), but it shall be pretty quiet 'round these parts from now on.

To those of who departed efx and are yet to return, give it another chance. I know it's an upheaval and at least one of you was crazy enough to go to all the trouble of copying everything onto blogger, but efx is fast becoming a community once again. Give it one last chance...

And so, as a parting shot:

Elentari, where are you?

There something up with your blog? Internet Explorer keeps freaking out and saying it can't access the site when I try to go on it.

In other news, efx2 is back...again.... Abandoning the frankly lackluster WordPress, efx2 has been shifted to its very own, brand-spanking new server. There are one or two bugs that need ironing out, but the templates are fully customizable (Chica's already posted a handful of 'How To's) and the community looks to be having a proper resurgence.

If John Woo's 'Hard Boiled' is a Bullet Ballet...

...then Micheal Davis's Shoot 'em Up is Bullet Breakdancing!

Clive Owen is minding his own when he sees a pregnant woman being chased by a gunman and decides to help out with the aid his trusty carrot. With the exception of a few pauses for plot-movement, Owen - with a little help from Monica Bellucci - spends the next 86 minutes killing people in increasingly imaginative ways while stopping a maniacal Paul Giamatti from killing the newborn kiddie.

The plot is surplus to requirements. Unlike many action directors of recent years, however, Davis is perfectly aware of this. The action is halted once too often in order to move the vapid plot along, but when it gets going again, it demonstrates a level of imagination that would even have the great Woo himself saying, "Why didn't I think of that?!"

Yes, the action lacks Woo's grace and the disbelief must be suspended from a great height, but by the time the gun-fighting takes to the air, you've ceased caring.

The script is occasionally gut-wrenching - particularly during Bellucci's weepy moments (she was wasted here) - but if all you want is to be thoroughly entertained, this is the type of film that will make your face ache from grinning.

The Good News is...

...all of my old posts have been restored :D

Keith rules the school!!

The bad news is, I'm still by no means enamoured by WordPress (our less-than-illustrious new host) and one of the few good things it has going for it - namely post importing - is sadly lacking on blogger.

Still, on balance, it's a good result overall.

-Edit- Keith has solved the embedding issue! It's a little...quirky...but it works!

Heroes in a Half Shell...

Back in the late 80s it didn't get much better than Teenage Mutant Ninja (or 'Hero' as it was on this side of the pond) Turtles. Original, action-packed, funny and with a great line of toys!

It's now been almost 20 years since they first appeared (a thought that scares the piss out of me) and I still find myself enjoying their antics, first off in their recent cartoon series and now in the form of the latest movie: TMNT (wonder how long they spent on that title...).

Despite being animated (very much in the style of the Incredibles), the film has more in common with the live-action trilogy than either of the animated series, albeit with better action and bigger names (Patrick Stewart, people!).

The main excuse for the whole thing involves some 3,000 year-old legend, an immortal and a portal that will potentially destroy the Earth, but the main focus of the plot revolves around the Turtles themselves and their fractured relationship following their victory over the Shredder, which is pretty interesting at first, but wares a little thin towards the end.

What doesn't is the action. Despite the animation being very much towards the cartoon style (as opposed to the realistic style companies are going for with the likes of Final Fantasy and Beowulf), the action has a surprising level of realism, particularly in a fight between Raphael and Leonado that gets pretty brutal.

Of course, this is Turtles we're talking about, so there's still plenty of slapstick and silliness, but it only rarely detracts from the action.

As for the characters, nothing's changed. Leonado is still the noble leader (though not quite as annoying as in previous incarnations), Michaelangelo and Donatello are reduced to side-kick roles and Raphael is by some distance the most interesting and (bizarrely) realistic character in the whole film, with Casey Jones a close second. As for April, Splinter and the bad-guys, they're all the usual fare, though Zhang Ziyi does sound rather damned sexy as the new leader of the Foot.

Okay, not so fast...

As pleased as I was to see efx2 back in business, the move to Wordpress has not been a strong one. A semi-decent selection of design templates do not make up for the woeful customisation and post restrictions. Add to that the little glitches that keep popping up here and there - inconsiquential on their own, but altogether annoying - and I'm sadly unimpressed.

Keith's working hard on making the place feel like home and blogger is by no means perfect, but, for the time-being at least, I'm returning here...

With that in mind, here's a couple of things that really made me laugh this morning (but I couldn't embed back at WordPress):


Crave Online: Funny Videos, Sexy Videos, Music Videos, Movie Trailers, and More!


Crave Online: Funny Videos, Sexy Videos, Music Videos, Movie Trailers, and More!

On the Move Once More

And why...?

Because it's back, baby!!

I shall, from now on, be found at: http://bebbet.efx2blogs.com

(now, to start moving my stuff in...)

Rayne - Ch.1

This has already made an appearance back on efx2, but it's since been slightly reworked and I've more-or-less finished the 2nd chapter, so have decided to restart it here:

1.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m having a really bad week.”

Strange as it may sound, I think a part of me actually expected him to respond.
I take another draw on my cigarette as I reflect on how bad a week it has been, but I can’t think of anything specific. I was just in a slump; one of those down moods where nothing in particular is wrong, but nothing seems quite right. Apparently, my kind are prone to such moods. The depressed genius: A sorry cliché.

Work was light; money was thin; my cigarillo case was now empty. Little things, I suppose, but it’s those little things that make me question the worth of it all.

Even as a kid it was no different. Pending homework; petty name-calling; missing last night’s Red Dwarf. Any one of them was enough to keep me awake through the night. If not for alcohol and nicotine, I’d probably still be an insomniac.

Not that I class a dead body sprawled across my bed as a ‘little thing’, but it’s certainly representative of my state of mind.

“Don’t get me wrong, I can see you’ve had a bad night, but at least you’re not wide awake at 3am.”

I finish off my cigarette just as the familiar flashing blue lights fill my bedroom। I wonder if they’d class this as smoking in the workplace… As if I didn’t already have enough to answer for.

“This is the police! Please remain calm. We are coming in!” A moment later a nervous pair of eyes peer into my room.

“I did hope the open door would be invitation enough that you wouldn’t have to announce yourselves to the entire building.”

Sgt. Colin Ambrose spies the body in the dim light and hangs up his gun. “Jesus, Rayne, did you have to.”

I give a non-committal shrug. “The knife’s his. He was rather insistent on me having it, but I had to forcibly decline.”

“So we’ll not find your prints on it, or find one missing from your rack?” I shake my head. “Fair enough,” says Ambrose. I’m not sure if he genuinely accepts my story or if he just wants to get out of there. “I’m still going to have to take you down to the station to make an official statement.”

“Yeah. Thought you might.”

I stand and stretch and my joints creak.

“You always sleep fully clothed?”

I nod towards the table behind him and he finds my pyjama pants already sealed up in a zip bag. “I hate those plastic overalls you lot give out.”

***

The next two hours pass dreamily by as I recite the same statement three times for three different detectives, all investigating a spate of robberies in the area. There seemed to be no connection between the victims and descriptions of the perpetrators differed greatly, but the modus operandi remained the same: Between 2am and 3am; in and out through an open window; not a single print, hair or fibre left at the scene; just enough taken to be carried by one person.

Until now no one had confronted the burglar. Considering how mine reacted, that’s probably for the best.

The door to the interrogation room opens and yet another detective enters, sipping coffee and carrying a case-file.

“Wow, they even dragged the boss out of bed for this?”

Regional Commander Bernhard throws the file down on the desk and takes a seat opposite me. “No rest for the wicked, right Aaron?”

“We’re not wicked, Johnny, we’re just bitter old men.”

“You’re thirty-two.”

“Yes, well, right now I feel old.”

“Hmm,” Bernhard says with a nod. “You want a drink before we get back into this?”

“Thank you, no. I’ve tasted the coffee in this place, remember?”

“You get used to it after a few years.”

“I never did.”

“No. But then, you weren’t exactly here long enough, were you?”

“It wasn’t the fault of the beverages, if that’s what you’re implying.”

Bernhard almost laughs. He really is tired, I think. He leans back in his chair with a deep sigh, looking me dead in the eye. “So, you gonna fill in the blanks for me?”

“Blanks?”

He leans forward and opens the file. “‘I woke up and saw the burglar. He lunged at me, brandishing a knife. I parried and the blade ended up in his chest.’”

“Pretty concise, if you ask me.”

“Aha… A seventeen year-old kid lunges at you with a knife and you almost break his wrist plunging the thing into his chest.”

I clear my throat and lean forward on the table, folding my arms in front of me. “What are you trying to say, John?”

John reflects my pose and makes an extra effort to speak as clearly as possible. “The last time someone attacked you with a knife, you took it off him and put it back in his pocket before you beat him unconscious.”

“You think I overreacted?”

He took a deep breath and turned his eyes down to the table. “I think there isn’t a court in the land that will see this as anything more than self-defence…but they don’t know you like I do, Aaron.”

I nod. “Yes, I nearly broke his wrist. I twisted his arm as far as I could and still he wouldn’t let go of the knife. I tried to force his arm up for a little extra leverage and at the same time, he dropped his weight on me…

“I didn’t know he was just a kid,” I ad, as if it will give some kind of reassurance.

“Then why didn’t you just say that?”

“I never used to have to explain myself to you, John.”

“You never worried me like this before, Aaron. Just tell me; you did try to disarm him didn’t you? You did everything you could not to kill him?”

I look Commander Bernhard dead in the eye again and try to give an automatic response, but the words won’t come…

Bernhard closes his eyes and stretches his neck left and right. “Get yourself booked into a hotel, Aaron. Do what you have to do to sleep until tomorrow morning and we’ll see if you can give me a straight answer then.”

***

Dawn has broken by the time I get out of the station. It’s early for a phone call, but I’m keen to get started. “Juliet?”

“Romeo?” the voice at the other end replies sleepily.

I manage to crack a smile. “Sorry, he’s probably still sleeping.”

“So was I,” Juliet says through a yawn. “What time is it?”

“It’s about dawn-ish. Listen, I need you to do a press check for me?”

“At dawn-ish?”

“Have breakfast first, then meet me at the office.”

“Yeah, yeah. What am I checking for?”

“There’ve been a bunch of burglaries recently. I want to know if there’s an official line on some kind of link yet.”

“Fine, I’ll have a look.”

“Thanks. Oh, and Juliet?”

“What?”

“Who’s this Romeo?”

“Piss off, Aaron.”

“Yes boss,” I say with a grin and Juliet hangs up without a reply.

I breathe the cool, morning air and feel it clearing my lungs and lightening the load on the back of my head. I already know it’s going to be a long day.

The life of a student

Today was my first day at college. Not a day to be hungover. Alas, my cousin got married yesterday, so hungover I was.

The service wasn't so great. Of course the bride looked beautiful and the groom looked terrified, but there was far too much focus on God (it was as if the whole thing was about honouring Him rather than two people being in love) and a bizarre speech from the vicar's wife demonstrating her somewhat misguided view on what love is.

Fortunately, that was just the start of proceedings. A lot of waiting around while pictures were took and a couple of whiskeys later and we finally got to eat! Beef - mmmmmmmmm. A full roast, in fact, followed by sponge cake!

Then it was time to drink, along to the medley of corny party tunes provided by (I kid you not) the 'Penetration Disco'.

And, boy, did I drink! I can't remember the last time I got well and truly wasted and, to be honest, I didn't last night, but a mix whiskey, lager, champagne, lager, aftershock (heavy-duty spirit), whiskey, aftershock, whiskey, lager and more aftershock, left me feeling a little tender today.

Also, I did the Macarena *shudder*

Tenderness aside, today went fine. I didn't get lost, I wasn't late and I enjoyed a foot-long Sub of the day for lunch (turkey breast, ham and cheese on honey-oat bread - oh yes). I'm not entirely convinced by our english language tutor - she seemed a little baffled and has no clue whatsoever how to present to a class - but the course seems to be just what I've been looking for. Tomorrow I start english literature and psychology. I imagine it's going to be an interesting day...

Time for a little experimentation...

I was going to post this right before efx2 went down, so I figured I'd use it to try out the video-hosting faculties here...

Yes, I know that bit in the middle’s weird, but I still think it’s a pretty cool moment when they break back into the song. The point is, they just don’t make music videos like this anymore:



Or, for that matter, covers like this:



In unrelated music news, prepare for some car-crash television as MTV’s VMAs are opening this year with a live performance from washed-up skanky media-whore, Britney Spears…

A Sad Farewell to efx2 (for now...)

Today the users of efx2 have been forced to don their black armbands and salute a half-masted flag as we say s'long to our fallen server. Yes, there were bad times amoungst the good, but overall it was happy blog. A friendly blog. A blog of love and creativity and such like.

And if I get my hands on the dickless, scum-sucking shit-lickers who abused our site and forced the server's closure, I'll beat them to death with their own kidneys!

And so, here I am again, back where I started on blogger (sans the innumerable posts that have been lost to the ether...), older, wiser and hopefully more committed to the cause of blogging.

Not much has changed since last time. I'm still writing (slowly); I'm still unemployed (though have been employed at certain points) and I'm still stuck in the sundered land of Sunderland, working feverishly on an escape plan.

My latest involves going to college, getting qualifications and making another stab at university; the significant difference this time being I'm aiming to do something I really want to! I'm studying English Literature, English Language and Psychology for the next year, with hopes of studying English at university. Where? I don't know, but preferably somewhere outside of the north-east.

So, that's where I'm now at. More shall follow...