Arise

From Discworld Monthly:

On December 30th it was announced that Terry Pratchett has been
awarded a Knighthood in the New Year Honours list. We would like to
pass on our huge congratulations to Sir Terry Pratchett (and his
squire Rob Wilkins).

*salutes*

Birthday (lack of) Shenanigans

And so another year has rolled by; this one - unlike many that have come before it - an eventful one, from completeing college, to starting university, and all of the random crap inbetween.

Alas, this birthday - unlike the previous few - is less than eventful. Last year I was in Surrey for a small birthday shindig, followed by a Bond-themed New Year's Eve party, with much drinking and fun on the Wii. The year before that we were in the Black Forest, partaking in some karaoke (which I haven't done since, but want to as it's fun).

This year, I'm at home, having a beer and preparing to watch some DVDs, bought with some of the money I got off my dad (the rest will likely go towards a night out when I'm back in Cheltenham). Though tempted by a few, I eventually settled on just four: The City of Lost Children (an old favourite), Police Squad: The Complete Series (an older favourite), Sweeney Todd (recent genius) and Iron Man (recent greatness (watch the vid - not just another trailer).

I also got a fancy shower-gel assortment, a box of posh chocs and whiskey gift-set off friends.

Speaking of friends; it's a pain in the arse being hundreds of miles away from any of them, again. Hence the quiet night in. But, hey-ho; plenty of time to make for it in the new year...

Though it's now immaterial...

...it's still worth sharing:

Simon Cowell: Can't We Just Beat Him With Sticks?

Okay, so number 2 in the Christmas chart isn't bad for a 14 year-old cover by a dead guy, but the fact that the world (well, this country) must be subjected to the atrocious, overblown, point-missing piece of dog excrement that is the X-Fuckter version is upsetting.



Very upsetting.

Interesting side-note: Guess what just missed out on the top-ten this year, coming in at number 12?

Go on, guess...

...

Oh, alright then, I'll give you a hint:

And On...And On...

Salvation.

Sorry for once again falling behind on my post alerts. I will get around to reading them, but I've been kinda busy and kinda unwell. I had a cold last week that I thought I was over, but it came back with a vengence on Tuesday.

Now my throat is killing me! I've been up since about 3:30 because of it, killing time on Prince of Persia. Speaking of which, get it; 'tis greatness. There have been a lot of complaints from people because of the ease of the game and the inability to die. Yes, it's easy, if you're just running through it to get to the ending. The challenge is in seeing everything and collecting everything. The game itself might only be about 8 hours long, but there are so many 'light seeds' to find (1,001) and so much fun to be had figuring out how to get the more elaborately-placed little feckers that you can get a good few hours more out of it.

On the subject of gaming, I also recently played through the new Tomb Raider. It's not bad but, despite there being a host of new elements, the last two were better. I wrote a full review here.

They just had to go and spoil it

Anyone remember this?

Well, a year later, the cover has finally been given an official release, and has even entered the chart at number one. And, despite what I said before, it sucks.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still impressed every time I here the version she sang all those months ago on Radio1. The problem is, whoever produced the single version (probably under the direction of Simon Cowell, who may know what will sell to pre-pubescent girls, but hasn't got the first clue about music) was not and decided it needed work. The result is an over-produced mess with an unnecessary choir and far too many effects, which work to almost drown-out Lewis.



Still, better it retains the number one spot for Christmas than the soon-to-be-crowned X-Fuckter winner...

Direct and to the Point

Jon Stewart and John Oliver telling like it is:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Mumbai Tragedy

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Where'd Everybody Go...?

My laptop's acting up :(

This morning it was working just fine; then the monitor randomly turned itself off. Figuring it had just gone into power-save mode, as it does, I jiggled the mouse a little.

Nothing happened.

I hit ctrl-alt-delet.

Nothing happened.

I hit alt-F4, in case it was trying to run a programme that for some reason didn't agree with it.

Nothing happened.

I did a forced reset, the loading screens came up, then it all went dark again. I gave it time...

Nothing happened.

I closed the 'puter to put it on stand-by in the hope it just needed to cool down.

Fifteen minutes later, it was back. Hurrah!

A minute after that, it went off again :/

Getting into a bit of a panic now (since it was looking like I wouldn't be able to access my work) I plugged in my memory stick and quickly copied over my Work file. The monitor went off again right before the transfer was complete, but I gave it a minute or two and stick's light ceased flashing to indicate the completed transfer. I then got it running again so I could safely detach my external hard-drive and disable the network, removed all the cables and closed it up for the day.

Tonight, I opened it again, just on the off-chance. It stayed on!

I thought, perhaps, there might be a corrupted file on my external HD that was sending things screwy, so I opted, to plug the rest back in and possibly see what was what.

I plugged in the power-pack first and, before I could even get the thing plugged into the wall, the monitor went off...

So I went to stand-by, unplugged the power pack and turned the 'puter back on. It has so far lasted through the latest episodes of Marvel/DC: Happy Hour, The Daily Show and Never Mind the Buzzcocks, as well as this post.

Though it's heartening to know there's life in this thing yet, the near-dead battery and the fact that I seemingly can't charge it and use my 'puter at the same time is troubling.

Hence, I may be quiet for a little while...

Oh yeah, and there's this one...

Wires Are For Wimps

Now excuse me while I find a rag to clean the drool from my keyboard...

And Suddenly the World Feels Lighter

It's official: Americans aren't quite as dumb as we all thought.

Good for you.

Just Another Reason Why I Love New York

New Yorkers showing solidarity for the bankers on Wall Street (as seen on last night's Have I Got News for You):

Perspective

We're currently doing narrative points of view for Prose Fundamentals and we were set a mini task for next week's lecture. First we were given this:

There are only five passengers on the bus. Thomas is trying to read; distracted by a small boy who runs up and down the aisle, giggling so much that spit covers his chin. The boy's mother shouts 'Billy! Billy! Sit your arse here!' as the bus lurches round a corner and the old man turns, studying the mother through thick glasses, before righting his shopping bags and settling again. The bus stops at traffic lights and Thomas folds his book, resting his chin on the seat in front. 'Good boy,' says the mother, 'Sit down. Sit down I says! Good boy. Here,' she says, passing the boy something Thomas cannot see. The bus is shuddering and Thomas sits upright, tasting the sour metal smell on his hands. He notices that the old man has also sat upright, staring intently at something outside. Then a horn beeps from behind and the driver curses and the bus swings into traffic. Thomas turns, pretending to check who has beeped but actually glancing at the girl who sits cross-legged on the back seat. He has been aware of her all journey - the crackle of her headphones; the smell of a perfume he cannot name. He thinks, perhaps, she smiles.

Then we had to pull prompts out of hat. Most of them were along the lines of Describe the scene in the first-person from the point of view of Thomas or Describe the scene in third person with limited omniscience focused on the mother. I managed to pull out 'Perspective of the "old man". First person. Past tense. Monologue told twenty years later.' Trust me to pick an easy one...

I'll never forget the last time I saw her. We would always meet for a cup of tea and a scone in the High Street at about ten o'clock. We'd been meeting like that for about three years, ever since I first moved to the area. We just happened upon each other one day. I was worried when she didn't show up that day. I remember thinking, I wonder where she is. I couldn't enjoy my tea and scone.

There were only a handful of people on the bus home. There were only ever a handful of people on the bus home. No one ever talked to each other in those days; not like when I was a boy. Everybody knew everybody. Not like now an'all. Everybody has to know everybody. Them bloody cards.

There was a woman shouting and swearing at her little boy. Horrible little thing, he was; running up and down, bothering everybody. She gave him some bloody chocolate just for sitting down. Only got something like that at Christmas when I was his age!

The bus driver was in a hurry as well. Nearly lost my groceries all over the floor. I'm surprised he even bothered to stop at the lights.

Anyway...that's when I saw her being put in the back of the ambulance.

I stopped off at the cafe a few times after that. Well, truth be told, I think I was back there every day for a couple of months.

Then I'd just pop in every now and then, y'know, just in case.

Eventually I just stopped going.

Resisting Temptation

I'm broke.

Okay, that's not entirely true; I still have some savings and an overdraft to see me through to my next loan cheque in January, but with several weeks of food shopping, three months of Mastercard payments, two birthdays and Christmas between now and then, it's going to be tight.

So seeing stuff like this doesn't help matters:



Want.

Can't have.

Bugger.

Still Alive

This be the main theme from the up-coming Mirror's Edge as sung by Lisa Miskovsky (who I've never heard of).

Kinda reminds me of Deep Forest.

Lacking Inspiration for a Team Name

Pub again last night. We've been the past few Sundays and played a lot of pool while the pub-quiz went on around us (we usually missed the beginning). This week, we decided to get there a little earlier and take a swing at it.

We won! :D

£25 worth of vouches at the bar. Not bad for our first go (especially as there were only 4 of us up against teams of 6 and above). Thanks go out to Del one of our points ;)

Next week, Lacking Inspiration for a Team Name return to defend our title.

A (not very) quiet weekend, all on my Lonesome

My house-mates...well, kitchen-mates (3 shared kitchens to each floor) have all buggered off home for the weekend, leaving things rather quiet around here, so I partook of some retail therapy and finally bought myself Metallica's Death Magnetic, marking my first full album download. Until now, I've been something of a CD purist, liking the feeling of having a hard-copy around, I suppose. Here, however, I don't really have room to start stocking CDs and, besides, downloading it was cheaper.

I'm impressed. Following the 90s, in which the band took a turn that attracted many new fans, but also turned many off, the band took some time out, went through some stuff, got drunk, shouted at each other, got therapy, went through some more stuff, got some more therapy and put it all out on St. Anger; the result being a lot closer to their thrash routes than before, but somewhat tentatively received given the often over-the-top rage of the album.

Death Magnetic isn't exactly a calmer affair, but it's a lot more balanced and vastly superior in every way. Hetfield has never sounded better, Hammet's fingers have evidently gotten more pliant with age, Ulrich still revels in beating the living excrement out of his drums and new boy Robert Trujilo is an absolute genius on bass.

Bizarrly, while in Primark, the guy at the counter asked me what I was listening to, I told him, and we ended up having a five-minute conversation about the virtues of Metallica in their 40s.

Random.

Anyway, my second iTunes purchase in as many days came with the news that Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog has finally been released in the UK.

I've just watched it again, and it is still genius!

Also, on a tenuously related note, I went 'round to another kitchen last night to drink, play cards and watch some horror movies: The Evil Dead and Slither (which also stars Nathan Fillion). I've never watched horror films with girls who genuinely scream in terror before. Even Metallica can't match the volume these two could produce. It was hilarious (especially when one darted under the table in sheer terror).

Sorry that's all a bit rush, but supposed to be going 'round to that kitchen now as we're all going to the pub to watch the England match.

Hope you're all having a good weekend!

Mark Steele on Darwin

In relation to my earlier posts about that old book with all the spelling, grammar and continuity errors in it, I thought I'd share a little something by a British comedian I doubt many of my American chums have ever heard. He's sort of the Billy Bragg of comedy:

I Demand to Know Why Nobody Told Me of This!

...?!

I'm not overly surprised that some backward freak could come up with something like the bible, but who, in their right mind, could possibly follow this horse-shit?

Everyone knows the story of Noah; commissioned by God to build an ark to take on every animal two-by-two (or by sevens, depending on which paragraph you're reading) so God can wipe out everything else He's created and start over.

What many of you might not know is the random little incident that took place right after the great flood. Receiving the blessing of The Lord, Noah settles down, plants a vineyard, gets rat-arsed and passes out naked in his tent, where he is happened upon by his son, Ham.

Ham tells his brothers, Shem and Japheth what happened and those two get a blanket and walk backwards into the tent, covering their father while being careful not catch a glimpse of daddy's tackle.

On waking, Noah 'knew what his younger son had done unto him' (that's right; it's Ham's fault dad got smashed and passed-out naked) and curses Ham's son, Canaan, to be 'a servant of servants...unto his brethren.'

So, let's just clarify: Noah - chosen by God to survive the great flood and carry on the species - got drunk, passed-out in the nip and curses his grandson because his son saw him.

People base there lives on this shit!